What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

Sure no problem officer.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

Yes sir it is.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Why do people hate Nickelback so much? What makes them different from other popular bands like Linkin Park, Green Day, etc.? Is it just because they're Canadian or what?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

{RING} {RING}

After a few moments he returns.

Why is North Korea a jail?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What is your first experience having sex with older men?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

HELLO